


The Aceing on the Cake

by TheMagicArts



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Asexuality, Asexuality Spectrum, Demisexuality, F/M, Falling In Love, M/M, Romance, ace - Freeform, demisexual
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-16 08:29:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28703682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMagicArts/pseuds/TheMagicArts
Summary: Arthur is a sad lonely romantic ace until he meets Merlin."They often watched movies, sometimes romantic ones, and Arthur struggled to relate to the characters in love. Was he in love? He didn’t feel like his heart was a supernova that was going to explode inside his chest every time he saw Merlin. He didn’t feel like he was flying or like he couldn't breathe whenever he thought about him. Merlin just felt like home. He was like a cozy jumper on a cold day or a mug of hot chocolate while it was snowing outside."
Relationships: Gwen/Lancelot (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 53
Kudos: 45





	1. Arthur's Wild Night

**Author's Note:**

> I have wanted to write an ace fic for so long, but I was too nervous because of my bad past experiences with people when talking about my asexuality. Then I read a lovely fic by SlantedKnitting called Practically Boyfriends which had Merlin as ace and I realized I really needed to write an ace story. I cried reading Practically Boyfriends because it was the first time seeing ace representation in a story. Then I read the lovely fic, Lacuna, by the even more lovely Amithia. This story inspired this one. I'm very grateful to Amithia for looking this fic over and giving helpful suggestions. You rock!
> 
> Sexuality is a vast, fluid spectrum. Society would like to put people in boxes and condemn them to said boxes for the rest of their lives, but the truth is that my identity 10 years ago is just as valid as my identify today even though it has changed. I create myself (Any Rose Tyler fans on here?) and that creation is never going to be complete. 95% of Arthur's thoughts and experiences are my own so please keep that in mind. I have identified as many things under the ace spectrum. Currently I identify as demisexual and I'm thinking of writing this story from Merlin's demisexual perspective. Please let me know if you'd be interested in reading that!

Arthur tried hard not to grimace as he watched the writhing mass of bodies on the dance floor. He didn’t want to get called a prude yet again. How could anyone enjoy sweaty strangers rubbing against their genitalia? It was beyond him. He wondered, not for the first time that night, how Morgana had roped him into going to a gay club. This was not Arthur’s typical Friday night. He should be at home cooking something scrummy, having a glass of wine, and watching Bake Off with his cats. Perhaps his sister really was a witch. Or maybe it was because they were celebrating her birthday and she had a way of making him feel like the worst brother ever. 

He quietly sipped his gin and tonic. He wasn’t sure where Morgana and their mutual friends had gotten to. Likely they were on the dance floor. Several men had already come up to Arthur and asked him to dance and he’d refused them all. He had no interest in either dancing, sleeping, or talking with them. He just wanted to be left alone. Hence why he was now in a relatively quiet corner hiding behind a cage with a half-naked, gyrating dancer in it. There were more cages hanging from the ceiling with more half naked dancers covered in body glitter. Arthur’s eyes had nearly bulged out of their sockets when he’d walked in and seen the display. He’d quickly averted his gaze.

He wasn’t sure exactly how it happened or whose fault it was, but he turned and collided with someone, spilling both their drinks.

“Oh! Terribly sorry!” The stranger looked up from his now wet shirt.

Arthur sucked in a little breath because the stranger was gorgeous: sharp cheekbones, blue eyes, ridiculously adorably large ears, and a mop of dark hair. He was momentarily stunned. He found people aesthetically pleasing even though he had no desire to do more than kiss them. But there was something captivating about the stranger before him. 

Arthur’s chinos were completely ruined by whatever ghastly blue drink the stranger was drinking, but he almost didn’t care. Almost.

“You klutz!” he said angrily when the reality came back to him. It wasn’t so much that his chinos were stained blue and soaking wet. It was the entire night. He was exhausted from being completely out of his element. He’d had to put up with far too many blokes trying to chat him up. The music was too loud. He hated dancing. He was starting to get hungry. And dammit all, he just wanted to go home.

“I’m sorry!” the man said, again, looking frightened or frantic or both. “What were you drinking? I’ll buy you another!”

“A gin and tonic,” Arthur said through gritted teeth. Honestly, another drink wasn’t going to fix this disaster of a night, but it would help him cope with it.

The man disappeared and then reappeared a few minutes later with a few bar towels and a fresh gin and tonic. Arthur tried his best to sop up the mess on his clothes while the stranger made sure there was no puddle on the floor. Then he disappeared again to take the towels up to the bar to be disposed of.

“I’m really very sorry,” the man said when he reappeared. “I can pay for the dry cleaning.”

Arthur’s face was a grim line. “I don’t think that’ll save them.”

“How much were they? I can give you money to replace them?”

Arthur thought back. They weren’t his favorite brand so he probably hadn’t spent that much on them. “Probably a hundred pounds.”

The stranger’s eyes went wide. He pulled out his wallet which was old and tattered. “I have 75 quid.”

Arthur sighed. It honestly wasn’t about the money. Arthur had loads, but he felt he deserved some recompense for his destroyed chinos. “Give me 50 and we’ll call it even.” 

The stranger handed over the money and Arthur put it inside his pocket straightaway. 

“Sorry again,” the stranger said and disappeared into the mass of bodies. 

Eventually Arthur found an empty table and sat down at that. Of course, this attracted all sorts of unwanted attention. Arthur felt like a flame surrounded by moths. There was a particularly smarmy bastard who wouldn’t take no for an answer. Arthur considered punching him, but didn’t want to ruin Morgana’s birthday (even though he hadn’t seen her in over an hour and wasn’t sure she was still in the club). The man’s breath stank of booze which Arthur got a good whiff of when he placed his hand on Arthur’s thigh. 

“Hey! There you are, boo! Been looking all over for you... erm, John!” 

Arthur and the man both turned. It was the clumsy stranger from before. 

The stranger placed his hand on Arthur’s shoulder, then smiled up innocently at the other man. “And you are?”

The man grunted, then left. 

Arthur sighed.

“Sorry again. It just looked like you were about to punch him and I didn’t want you to end your bad night in jail. I don’t think you’d enjoy that. Jail smells horrible. I had to get my friend Will out of there once because he stole a car and it smelled of vomit. The jail smelled, not the car. Will’s not so bad though; the car theft was an accident, sort of, it was his grandmother’s--” 

Arthur looked up at him, cutting off the stranger's rambling. “Thanks for the help.” Then before his brain and mouth could properly connect, he blurted out, “Want to join me?” He mentally cursed himself. Now he was about to make small talk with a stranger. 

“Sure. I’m Merlin by the way.” He smiled shyly as he carefully set his very full drink down on the table.

“Arthur.” They shook hands.

There was silence. 

“Erm, did you want to dance?” Merlin finally asked.

“No, I hate it,” he said, not even trying to sound accommodating in any way. 

Merlin laughed and Arthur felt himself hit with an emotion he didn’t recognize. He liked the sound of his laugh.

“So do I.”

“Then why are you here?”

Merlin laughed again. “I could ask you the same thing! My friends usually go to the local pub on Friday nights, but tonight we’re celebrating a birthday and the birthday girl chose this place. Clubbing isn’t really my area, I’m too old. Can’t hold my liquor like when I was 17.” He laughed. When Arthur didn’t laugh he said hastily, “Sorry, I’m rambling. I do that when I’m nervous.”

“Sorry… I was distracted.” He swung his vision back towards Merlin. He’d been watching two blokes kissing passionately in a quiet corner, their hands all over each other. He craved the sort of intimacy on display, even though their heated kisses were not what he wanted. He wanted _someone._ Someone to share his life with, someone he could connect with, someone who wouldn’t ask for things Arthur couldn’t give them, someone who was like a best friend (but not a lover). His chances of finding a relationship that met those requirements were close to nil. He felt an all too familiar ache in his chest.

He was broken he reminded himself: relationships weren’t for people like him. 

“You alright? Do you want me to go?”

“Yeah. I--” Arthur gripped his glass tighter. 

Merlin stood up, getting ready to leave.

“No, stay,” Arthur said. “I meant… I’m alright. I just go a bit funny sometimes.” He took a big sip of his drink. “It’s nice having someone to talk to who doesn’t like to dance. You’ll keep all the creeps away. What were you saying...earlier when I wasn’t paying attention.”

Merlin explained again that he’d come to the club because of a friend’s birthday.

“What’s your friend's name?” Arthur asked.

“Morgana.”

Arthur groaned. “She’s my sister.”

Merlin laughed. “Oh you’re that Arthur! She’s mentioned you.” Merlin was silent for a few beats. “So what do you do, Arthur? Is it similar to what Morgana does?”

He swirled his drink in its glass. “Yes, I supposed our jobs are similar. I’m a businessman. Work at my father’s company, which you probably already know. You?”

“You do look like the businessman type.”

Arthur narrowed his eyes. “And what does a businessman look like?”

Merlin grinned. “The type of bloke who wears chinos to a club. I’m a yoga teacher,” he added in answer to Arthur’s earlier question.

Arthur was surprised. But then he looked at his strong wiry arms and fit body that most “normal” people would drool over and his surprise faded. He didn’t really look at bodies as being attractive or unattractive; he felt neutral about them. He had never understood his friends seeing someone for the first time and having the urge to shag them. “I can see that now.” He finished his drink.

“You want another drink?”

“Yeah.”

Arthur wasn’t sure how much time passed with them sitting at that little table, their faces close together so they could hear the other one speak better over the thumping music. He wasn’t sure how exactly he ended up in a cab with Merlin headed towards Arthur’s flat. He vaguely remembered a pale hand and a faux fur coat (perhaps his sister) shoving him into a cab and giving the driver cash. 

He did not know how he ended up with Merlin in his home and on his couch with his feet up on Arthur’s coffee table, something Arthur normally did not tolerate. He was particular about his things. Everything had its place and every Saturday he tidied up his already tidy flat and wiped down every surface with cleaner. 

It’d been a long time since Arthur had someone in his flat apart from Morgana (who mysteriously had a key that he had not given her). Having Merlin, a stranger, in his home was the wildest thing Arthur had done in years. He did not invite friends or family to his flat which had earned him the nickname of hermit (bestowed on him by Morgana). And so what? It wasn’t bad not wanting a group of people trampling through his home. He wondered what the hell he was thinking. _This is stupid,_ he thought. He was going to end up having The Talk with Merlin. The Talk was about what a great bloke he was, but Arthur really wasn’t looking for anything, sorry to have given the wrong impression, blah, blah blah. Then Merlin would never speak to him again. He felt sad at the prospect of never talking to Merlin again. He really enjoyed it. So far Merlin hadn’t tried to flirt with him, he was easy to talk to, and his humor didn’t consist of innuendo that Arthur had to fake laugh at (like with Gwaine’s jokes). Merlin had a tendency to ramble, but Arthur found it endearing.

"I'm starving," Merlin said, his words slurring a little. 

They went to the kitchen, digging through the immaculately ordered cupboards. 

“Crisps!” Merlin yelled out excitedly. He opened the bag, took a bite, and made a face. “Quinoa.” 

“Hey, don’t diss the crisps! They’re very good for you.” Most of the things in Arthur’s flat were healthy. He believed in healthy eating and exercise. He went on a run every day and ate healthy meals, even measuring out the ingredients so he didn’t overindulge that way. Booze was his biggest indulgence. Oh and a certain type of biscuit. 

“HobNobs!” Merlin shouted as he ripped open the box.

“Shhhhh! I have neighbors.” Then for some bizarre reason, Arthur started to giggle. He hadn’t been this drunk in a long time. “And don’t eat all those!” He wrestled the box from Merlin and they landed in a heap together on the floor, laughing hysterically. 

The rest of the night passed by in a blur. They watched Bake Off (Merlin was a fan Arthur was pleased to learn) and finished off a packet of HobNobs while Arthur’s two cats, Fili and Kili, kept coming up to them for pets. 

* * *

Arthur woke up on Saturday morning to a horrible buzzing sound and his brain felt like it was going to pound out of his skull. The horrible buzzing sound was coming from his phone which lay discarded on the floor. It showed Morgana’s face. He groaned. He did not want to talk to her, but he at least sent her a text in all caps that told her to stop bloody calling him. 

Then Arthur turned and realized he was not alone in the bed. Merlin was there, still sleeping peacefully. 

_Don’t panic,_ he thought. Then proceeded to panic. What the hell was he supposed to do now? Ask him politely to leave? Make him breakfast? Would he just naturally leave on his own (didn’t that happen on the telly?)

Merlin groaned and stretched out. “Morning.”

“Uh, good morning,” Arthur said, his voice sounding a little shaky as he realized Merlin wasn’t wearing a shirt and he could see a lot of skin. He felt uncomfortable and unsure of where he was supposed to look so he stared at his plants on the windowsill.

“My head’s pounding.”

“I’ll grab some Nurofen and some water.” Once in the kitchen, Arthur was able to think more clearly. How did one ask a stranger to politely leave their home? He could tell Merlin he had somewhere to be and that would hopefully get his half naked body out of Arthur’s bed. 

Blessedly, Merlin was fully dressed by the time Arthur returned. 

“Thanks.” Merlin downed two Nurofen and chugged the glass of water. “Sorry I was such a poor date.”

“What?”

“I spilled my drink over you, ate all your HobNobs, and we didn’t do anything except watch Bake Off,” Merlin said as he left the bedroom and put on his shoes which had been next to the front door. 

Arthur was very grateful they hadn’t done anything else, but he didn’t mind the rest of it. Well maybe his clothes getting ruined. That had been pretty bad. It’d been nice though to let loose and eat his favorite food and watch his favorite show with someone. He hadn’t done that in… well ever. 

“It’s, uh, alright. No need to feel bad.” He felt awkward, unsure of what he was supposed to say. 

Merlin looked like he was going to say something else, but changed his mind. “See you around, Arthur.”

“Bye.”

Arthur thought he’d feel more relieved when he shut the door on Merlin, instead he just felt a gaping hole. 


	2. Awkward Ace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur and Merlin meet again!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have nitpicked this story to death and I'm still not quite satisfied with it. I think it's my procrastination kicking in because I'm more nervous about this story than my other ones.   
> I mostly write amusing one shots and only a handful of those ever see the light of day. This one is a multi chapter fic and one of the longest things that I've actually finished writing. I am so bad about finishing stories! I did finish this one, but I'll be tweaking the final chapter to death in the upcoming days. Then I'll be tweaking Merlin's POV story to death as well. Anyhoo. Hope you enjoy!

Arthur had always felt a bit different growing up. While the other boys in his play groups pointed out which girls were the prettiest or which girls were their pretend girlfriends, Arthur was more concerned with playing sports. It wasn’t until he hit puberty and watched his friends turn into sex crazed maniacs that he realized something was wrong. As they got older, the sex talk shifted even more. It became about how many times they’d had sex, who did they want to shag, what sexual acts had they done or been done on them, etc. Arthur was baffled by it. He tried to laugh along with their sex jokes, but he didn’t understand most of them. He thought maybe he was gay (he’d been called a fairy enough times), so he’d tried to watch gay porn. He had felt nothing while watching it, neither excitement nor disgust.

He’d played sports all his life so whenever it was brought up how he didn’t date, he’d say he was too busy with sports or focusing on his studies because he wanted to go to his dream university. This seemed to satisfy most people, particularly adults. But not his so-called friends who, after learning Arthur had never had sex, decided to make it their mission to “make a man out of him.” They flung dozens of girls his way, even a few blokes, but Arthur wanted nothing to do with them. There had been one girl that he’d briefly dated for a record three months, but she’d left him after he explained that he wasn’t sexually attracted to her. Sophia was awful and she’d told Cenred about it. Cenred and Sophia both had blabbed to other people. Thus it got around school that Arthur was either a freak, a poof, or a prude. After that, he started to distance himself from his friends. He focused intensely on his studies and sports. He was mentally exhausted from constantly having to explain he wasn’t interested in a relationship or that he wasn’t gay. He shut himself off from his so-called friends and they didn’t try to open the door. 

He Googled whether or not he was normal and discovered asexuality that way . It felt nice to discover that there was a label that would fit him. He also chatted with a few people in an online forum. It was nice; he felt less alone. But he found less time to chat online as he took his A-levels and those tenuous links he had made soon broke. 

Things were much better when he got to university. He chose a university in Scotland, purposely far away from Camelot and prestigious enough to please his father. The university was so big that if there was anyone there who knew him, he never crossed paths with them. It was a fresh start. He was active in sports still and whenever relationships got brought up, he mentioned Sophia so they’d think he was normal. He might have exaggerated how long they were together; of course, they assumed he’d slept with her and thus assumed he was straight. So he easily blended into the crowd. He went to parties, drank too much, pulled all-nighters revising, took tests on two hours of sleep and generally enjoyed university life.

Then he’d met Owain. He’d been a fantastic footballer and Arthur and he had gotten along immediately. Arthur had also found him adorable with his big brown eyes and brown hair with flecks of ginger in it. They took the piss out of each other, got rat-arsed together, and always had each other’s backs. Owain was gay and he didn’t try to hide the fact. It was something Arthur admired about him. Although people were still surprised when they found out Owain, a muscly footballer, was gay. Arthur and Owain became inseparable. For the first time in a long time, Arthur didn’t feel alone.

Then it’d gone wrong. On a drunken night, Owain had kissed him, which wasn’t terrible for Arthur. He didn’t mind the kissing, but he did mind Owain’s hands all over his body. He tried to let him down gently, but Owain hadn’t taken it well. Then, Arthur had the brilliant plan to tell Owain he was ace. He’d wanted Owain to know it really was a case of “it’s not you, it’s me.”

“You’re either a freak or lying,” Owain had said. They stopped being friends after that and Arthur decided not to get close to anyone else. Losing Owain, his best mate, was too big of a blow. 

Fortunately, Arthur had graduated not long after and went back home to Camelot where he started working for his father. It provided a much needed distraction. He didn’t have to face Owain, but this new job came with its challenges, mainly Morgana who loved to pry into his life. Uther took a keen interest in Arthur’s work and his love life as well, suggesting romantic partners and offering to set him up on dates. Arthur said he just hadn’t met anyone he liked enough to date yet. Uther chalked it up to Arthur having high standards; Morgana was a nosy cow who thought her brother was gay and kept tossing blokes his direction. It didn’t help that they worked together. To humor her, he did try to date two of those blokes she’d thrown his way. But when Arthur hadn’t put out at the end of the night, he didn’t get a call back. 

He was lonely so sometimes he hung out with Morgana and her friends (a combination of people from work and from her university days). It was nice except when they started to pry into his personal life. Gwen Smith became his guardian angel. She would see the discomfort on his face and quickly change the subject. The others thought maybe she had a soft spot for him so they started conveniently leaving the two of them alone or having them sit together. Arthur had been scared that what had happened with Owain was about to repeat itself. In the end, his worries were unfounded. She only had eyes for Lance who was a dear friend of hers and not part of their group since he was off doing something heroic in another country (at least that’s how it sounded when Gwen talked about him). Once Lance returned, all three of them had hung out together nearly every fortnight. Arthur and Lance would both go over to Gwen’s and have a takeaway and watch a movie. There’d been some confusion because Lance had thought Arthur and Gwen were together. Arthur made it very clear that he and Gwen were not a couple and now Lance and Gwen were very happy. 

He desperately wanted that: he wanted someone to sweep him off his feet and buy him flowers. Someone to hold his hand. Someone to do the shopping with. Someone to cuddle with him.

Sometimes the loneliness ate him up inside. 

* * *

A few hours had gone by since Merlin had left and Arthur regretted that he hadn’t gotten his phone number. He knew Morgana or one of her friends likely had his number, but there was no way in hell he was going to ask them for it. That’d only lead to more questions and Arthur had no clue had to answer them.

Did he like Merlin? He supposed he did. He’d really enjoyed their drunken antics and Merlin being upset when someone’s cake went horribly wrong on Bake Off. He was as interested in the show as Arthur was. Was the liking in a romantic way? Arthur hadn’t experienced that as far as he knew even though he had felt love for Owain (he’d never been able to sort out if it was in a friendly or romantic way).

It was stupid to even want his number. What was he going to do with it? Merlin was gay and he’d want something Arthur couldn’t give him. Why go through the trouble? Arthur knew how pursuing Merlin would end and he didn’t want to be the reason Merlin cried like Owain had. 

Somehow, he found himself out at the club with Morgana and friends on a Friday night two weeks later. 

“Back for more, eh, princess?” Gwaine asked and playfully hit him in the shoulder. 

“Hmmm,” Arthur said, scanning the crowd and searching for Merlin. His heart dropped when he realized he wasn’t there. 

“Were you looking for Merlin?” Morgana asked.

“No.” Arthur scowled. He hated how Morgana could read him. 

“He couldn’t come tonight. I think he’s with his boyfriend.” 

Arthur kept his face perfectly blank. He went home an hour after that, saying he felt sick _,_ which wasn’t far from the truth. He did feel sick to his stomach after Morgana’s revelation that Merlin had a boyfriend.

Gwen walked with him outside even though he said he was perfectly fine hailing a cab on his own. 

Gwen bit her lip, a sure sign that she wanted to say something. “I worry about you,” she finally said. “You should come to dinner soon with me and Lance. We both really miss you.” She pushed her curls out of her eyes. 

“I’ve been busy with work. You know how my father is.” He spoke mechanically. It was his go-to excuse and it never failed.

She bit her lip some more. “Do you like Merlin?”

He squeezed his eyes shut. Maybe if he wished hard enough, she’d go away. “Does it matter?” he snapped.

Gwen never took his tone personally. “It’s okay if you like him.” She gave him a pitying look.

“He has a boyfriend.”

She scrunched her face up at him. “Edwin?” She scoffed. “Hardly. They did date in the past, but Edwin always tried to do more than Merlin wanted.”

Arthur looked down at her quizzically. “What does that mean?” Hope stupidly bloomed in his chest that maybe Merlin wasn’t in a relationship.

She shook her head. “You and Merlin are two sides of the same coin. You both keep people at arm’s length. Maybe you should try opening up more? Talk to a professional? You could always talk to me or Lance. We love and care about you, Arthur. You can talk to us about anything without fear of judgment. We want you to be happy and it’s obvious you haven’t been happy for a long time.” She rested a hand on his arm. 

“Thanks, Gwen, but I’m fine. Really.”

She gnawed her bottom lip. “Merlin works at the Rising Sun Yoga Studio. He likes to get a sandwich on his lunch from a cafe nearby there sometimes. It’s called Uncle Gaius’.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

She smiled at him. “Because you deserve to be happy.” She reached up and gave him a kiss on the cheek and went back inside. 

* * *

Arthur was irritated that the nearest Tesco’s was out of HobNobs. He was forced to go out of his way and drive to a different location. He loved those biscuits even if he couldn’t stop thinking about a certain someone every time he ate one. 

_I’m being ridiculous,_ he thought.

As he reached for the HobNobs on the shelf, out of the corner of his eye he caught sight of a familiar mop of black hair. His heart thumped in his chest: Merlin. He’d mistaken strangers on the pavement for him, but this time it was actually him. He started to walk towards him, then quickly went into a different aisle when a man came up to Merlin and put something in the shopping basket. He noticed the way the man put his hand on Merlin’s lower back. Perhaps this was Edwin.

Arthur felt a pang of jealousy at the sight. 

Arthur took a deep breath and went back for the HobNobs (which he hadn’t yet grabbed) when he collided with someone.

“Ow!”

“Watch where you’re--” Arthur’s angry words died on his tongue. It was Merlin. He felt his heart hammering in his chest. “Hey.” _I missed you._ Then Arthur thought about how ridiculous he was being. He’d hung out with Merlin one time.

“Arthur.” Merlin’s cheeks were dusted a pale pink and Edwin wasn’t with him. “How are you? I, uh, came down this aisle for some HobNobs. I forgot how good they were until I had them at yours.”

“They’re my favorite.”

They were silent for a few beats before they both started to talk at once, then laughed. 

“You go first,” Arthur said. 

“Oh I was going to say I remember you saying they were your favorite.”

“Yeah--”

“Who is this then?” Edwin came up behind Merlin, stepping close to him.

“Oh this is Arthur. Arthur, this is Edwin.”

“Arthur?” Edwin gave him a tight smile and placed his hand possessively on Merlin’s hip. “The one you got drunk with?”

Merlin visibly tensed and Arthur wondered if Edwin was jealous.

Arthur smiled tightly. Jealousy aside, this Edwin fellow was giving him the creeps. “That’s me. Sorry I’d love to chat, but I have to finish the shopping. Cheers.”

“See you around, Arthur,” Merlin said and tried to smile but it didn’t reach his eyes.

* * *

“Coming to the pub tonight?” Gwen asked Arthur a few days later.

He looked up from the piles of papers on his desk. “I’ll try.”

“It’s for Lance’s birthday.”

“Oh. Right.” He’d have to make an effort then.

She gnawed her lower lip so Arthur tried to look intently at the paper in front of him. “Have you seen Merlin?”

“I did a few days ago.”

“Really?” She sounded excited.

“He was doing the shopping with his boyfriend.”

She frowned. “He hasn’t mentioned getting back with Edwin to me, but then again he knows I don’t approve.”

Arthur lowered the paper, his interest piqued even though he told himself he shouldn’t care. “Why don’t you approve of him?”

She shrugged. “It’s hard to describe. He seems possessive of Merlin sometimes.”

“I got that vibe too.”

“It’d be amazing if you two got together. We could go on double dates!” she squealed. 

If Arthur had thought he was getting ahead of himself, Gwen was apparently full steam ahead. He frowned at her. “I’ve only hung out with him one time.”

“But the way you talk about him… your eyes light up and I’ve never seen you like that with anyone.”

Did he do that? Was that why Morgana kept suggesting he try yoga? 

“I better get back to work if I’m going to be able to make it to the pub tonight.”

“I’ll see you there,” she said excitedly.

* * *

Arthur was both pleased and anxious that Merlin was at the pub too. He was worried it might be awkward. Last time they’d been together, they’d been drunk and alcohol always takes the edge off. His worries were unfounded. Merlin was his usual rambling self and Arthur felt instantly at ease. Gwen had made sure that they were seated together and he was grateful to her. It made the evening more bearable. He hardly heard any of Gwaine’s lewd jokes over Merlin’s rambling.

Morgana brought out a cake and they all sang Happy Birthday as Lance made a wish and blew out the candles. 

It was late when they all started to leave the pub. Most of them grabbed cabs, a few were walking home. Eventually it was just the two of them on the pavement.

Arthur had no idea how to proceed. He tried to think of movies and films he’d seen, what did people normally do? 

“Do you live close by?”

“Yeah.”

“Can I walk you home?”

Merlin smiled at him. “Sure.” 

They walked in silence most of the way until Arthur asked about Edwin.

“We aren’t seeing each other. We just… get together sometimes.”

“Oh. Like friends with benefits?” Arthur remembered an awful movie Morgana had forced him to watch. Arthur could not imagine himself engaging in such an arrangement.

Merlin shrugged. “Yeah. I guess.”

 _This is not going to work,_ Arthur thought to himself. He was ace, Merlin was gay and he apparently still had casual sexual encounters with his ex. 

“Sometimes, I get lonely,” Merlin admitted. “Edwin is always there.”

“Yeah being single sucks when all your friends have someone. Even Morgana has a boyfriend and she’s basically evil incarnate.”

Merlin laughed. “I like your sister. She’s nice.”

Arthur made a face. “Have you met her? She used to try and flush my head down the loo.”

Merlin raised an eyebrow. “You must have done something to deserve it then.”

“Hey!” Arthur was indignant.

All too soon they were at Merlin’s flat.

“Cuppa?”

Arthur was a little tempted, but he was worried about what staying might entail; cuppa could very well be the code word for shag. “I better get home. Fili and Kili need to be fed. Hopefully they haven’t destroyed the sofa.” Arthur felt a powerful urge to kiss Merlin combined with the urge to run away. He didn’t know or understand how any of this relationship stuff was supposed to work or if that was what he even wanted with Merlin. He needed to sort himself out. 

“Oh. Right.” Merlin looked disappointed. 

“But I… want to see you again. Want to do lunch on Monday?”

Merlin grinned. “I’d like that. I work at the Rising Sun yoga studio. There’s a café called Uncle Gaius’; he does really good homemade food.”

“Sounds amazing,” Arthur said, not letting on that he’d been there recently hoping to see Merlin. The food had been fantastic. “See you then. Night.”

“Good night, Arthur.”

When Merlin smiled at him, Arthur felt a warmth spread from the top of his head down to his tippy toes. 

* * *

_What the fuck am I doing?_ Arthur thought on Monday morning as he lay in bed after his alarm clock had gone off. _And what am I going to wear?_

He thought about texting Morgana, but decided against it. She would be too gleeful. So he decided to take Gwen up on her offer and texted her, asking what he should wear to a casual lunch with Merlin. He was not prepared for the onslaught of happy faced emojis that she sent his way. She was under strict instructions to tell no one except Lance (who had been reading the text over her shoulder so there’s no way he could have been kept out of the loop). He sent images of three different shirts and Gwen and Lance selected one with a color they thought complimented his eyes. 

It felt really nice to talk to his friends about normal things. It also terrified him because if it didn’t work out, what then? He’d go back to being pushed in every direction by his well-meaning friends and he couldn’t bear that. He’d have to stop hanging out with them.

All through work he kept glancing at the clock. Gwen didn’t help his concentration as she walked past his office several times looking excited and one time she gave him a thumbs up. He hoped she didn’t raise anyone’s suspicions. Finally, it was time for him to leave for lunch if he wanted to make it to Uncle Gaius’ Café on time. He gave Gwen a thumbs up as the elevator doors shut on him.

Arthur arrived ten minutes early. It was a nice day so he chose a spot outside to eat. Since the café was across from the yoga studio, he easily spotted Merlin as he made his way across the street. He was wearing a sleeveless shirt that showed off his wiry arms and a pair of loose fitting trousers. Even though he felt no sexual attraction, he could appreciate Merlin’s arms. Merlin was beautiful.

“Hey.” Merlin grinned at him and sat down across from him. 

Arthur met him with a grin of his own. Now that Merlin was here, most of his anxiety had faded away. They quickly ordered: Merlin got a hummus and veggie sandwich while Arthur opted for a ham and cheese one.

“What got you interested in becoming a yoga teacher?”

Merlin took a sip of his drink before he answered. “Hmmm. I sort of fell into it. I had a rough time at school, I got bullied and yoga was something I did to cope. It brought me a lot of peace. And I thought I’d like to help others find that peace.”

“I got bullied too. Never really found an outlet for it though.”

“You got bullied?” Merlin sounded a little surprised. 

“Verbally bullied, yeah. I wasn’t so lucky to find an outlet, maybe that explains why I’m so mucked up. I did play a lot of sports which helped me a little.” He didn’t add that he got bullied for being a closet ace or made fun of because he didn’t enjoy his so-called friends’ misogyny and constant sex talk. 

“I don’t think you're mucked up.” Merlin was silent for a few beats. “Why’d you choose to be a businessman?” 

“My father. I didn’t have a choice.” Arthur gave a tight smile. “I’ve been on the path to inherit the company business since before I was born. Although I think Morgana, who is older than me, would be much better at it than me. Our father is sexist in that way. I’m the only son so I inherit the bulk of the Pendragon wealth.”

“That must be a lot of pressure.” 

“Yeah. Father wants me to carry on the legacy. Marry, have a family, that sort of thing.” The worst part of the job wasn’t everything he had to do, he was quite good at it (although Morgana was definitely better), the problem was the expectations his father had for his personal life. 

“You can still have those things when you’re gay.”

“Try telling my father that.” He didn’t want to talk about his father anymore so he changed the subject. “How did you, a yoga teacher, end up hanging out with Morgana and the others?”

“Lance works with me.”

“Oh! I knew he was a yoga instructor. I didn’t know he worked at the Rising Sun.”

“Yeah. You haven’t been around much. The others would mention you sometimes.”

“What’d they say?” Arthur asked, even though he dreaded to know.

“That you suddenly stopped hanging out with them and that they missed you.”

Arthur squeezed his hands together. “I was going through some personal stuff. I’ve been single a really long time and being constantly around happy couples made me miserable so I stopped going to events.”

Merlin looked at him, seeming to weigh his words. “Why have you been single for so long?”

Arthur cursed himself. He should’ve just stopped at saying personal reasons because now Merlin was asking uncomfortable questions. “I’m really bad at relationships.”

Before he could say more he caught sight of Lance walking into the shop. “Hi, Lance!” He waved him over.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“No, it’s fine.” Merlin beamed at him. 

“Don’t tell Gwen I was here or she’ll murder me. She specifically told me not to crash your lunch date.” They laughed at that.

They chatted for a few minutes until Arthur realized that he needed to get back to the office. When he parted from Merlin, he thought about hugging him, but felt awkward about it so he didn’t. For the rest of the day, he regretted not hugging him.

* * *

After that day, they became inseparable. They went to the pub together with their friends and left together even though they usually went back to their separate homes. They spent a great deal of time at Arthur’s flat since he lived alone; occasionally they spent time at Merlin’s flat with Freya. Arthur enjoyed teasing Merlin with Freya. 

Spending so much time with Merlin made Arthur feel normal for once. He wasn’t getting badgered with questions anymore about who he was seeing or who he fancied. He wasn’t lonely like he’d been before. They texted throughout the day and made plans to see each at least once a week outside of pub night on Fridays. 

Sometimes Arthur had to remind himself that they weren’t actually a couple and sometimes that got him into a bad mood. He was frustrated because he didn’t know how to proceed. Was he just supposed to kiss him? Confess his feelings? 

What were his feelings even? 

They often watched movies, sometimes romantic ones, and Arthur struggled to relate to the characters in love. Was he in love? He didn’t feel like his heart was a supernova that was going to explode inside his chest every time he saw Merlin. He didn’t feel like he was flying or like he couldn't breathe whenever he thought about him. Merlin just felt like home. He was like a cozy jumper on a cold day or a mug of hot chocolate while it was snowing outside. He knew those descriptions didn’t make sense. Merlin made him feel a deep sense of warmth and contentment. 

He thought a lot about how to take his relationship with Merlin to the next level. At least the next level for aces like him. He wanted to hold his hand, but didn’t know how and he wanted to kiss him, but didn’t know how to initiate it. He wanted to wrap his arms around him on the couch and cuddle him.

But he couldn’t.

Because then Merlin would want something Arthur could never give him. Then Arthur would just end up being alone again.

After nearly three months of them spending almost everyday together, Merlin started to go a bit funny. It started gradually. He couldn’t come over. He had other things to do. He didn’t text Arthur as much. Excuse after excuse. Arthur was devastated. 

“Everything okay?” Gwen asked him after he’d zoned out in a meeting. 

Arthur nodded.

“If you need to talk, you know where to find me.”

He nodded again. 

The loneliness was crushing his soul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, this story has a happy ending. Sad endings are not my vibe.


	3. All I Wanted Was You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAHHHHH *shrieking* Told myself I would post this on Monday, then I chickened out. I have pecked this chapter to death so much that I don't want to read it again lol. So I'm forcing myself to post it instead of having it niggling about in the back of my head. Maybe I'll actually be able to focus on my schoolwork. For not being an English major anymore, I have a ridiculous amount of reading to do: I have 6 books for my classes this semester and each week I have at least 4 articles to read. I'm grateful that I have online classes and don't have a 40 minute drive, but the amount of reading I have is absurd. Yet I'm still reading Merthur fics that are 50,000+ words. HEH HEH. Priorities, am I right?
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who has supported this story and left a comment. It means so much to me to have other aces share their story. It's nice knowing there's a community of people out there who think like me. 
> 
> I have Merlin's perspective typed up. Since it follows this story, my pecking is limited to checking for grammatical errors. I've debated about whether or not to post it because it might be boring since a lot of it overlaps with this story. But then again I love reading remixes and I could read about these two idiots falling in love again and again until the end of time.

It was one of the now rare occasions where Merlin had come over. 

“Haven’t seen you much lately,” Arthur said, offering Merlin the bowl of popcorn as the opening credits to the film they were watching rolled.

“I’ve been busy. I-- met someone.”

Arthur felt his stomach drop. 

“His name’s Gareth.”

Arthur tried to smile. “Oh. I can understand you’d want to spend time with him.”

Merlin bit his lip, looking sheepish. “Yeah. He’s nice.”

Arthur felt like punching a wall or sobbing. He didn’t know which. So he excused himself and went to the bathroom to splash cold water on his face. He didn’t even know this Gareth, but he felt an intense dislike of the man. He was probably giving Merlin everything Arthur couldn’t. Oh, God, what if Merlin brought Gareth with him to the Friday pub evening with his other mates? Arthur couldn’t bear it. Everyone had the idea that Arthur and Merlin were together now and Arthur had never once bothered to correct them. Now everyone would know and Arthur would go back to getting confused or pitying stares from his friends. 

Blessedly, Merlin left right after the film. 

* * *

Arthur spent the rest of his weekend in bed, rewatching Doctor Who starting with the ninth Doctor and eating an entire packet of HobNobs. Fili and Kili happily curled at his feet. He didn’t go for his usual run or bother to tidy up. He ignored Morgana’s calls and calls from Gwen and Lance and the whole lot of them. An hour later, there was an insistent knock on the door. 

“Go away!” Arthur yelled. 

“Arthur, it’s Gwen! Please open up, it’s important.”

Arthur wrapped himself in his fuzzy blanket and made his way to the door.

“There’s been an accident. It’s Merlin.”

And just like that Arthur’s knees buckled beneath him.

* * *

Arthur didn’t remember the car ride or Gwen’s erratic driving. He didn’t even care that she was driving his precious German car like a maniac through the streets of Camelot. On the way, Gwen explained that Merlin had been riding his bike when a lorry got too close to him. Apparently in an effort to avoid the lorry, Merlin had been sent flying into someone’s front garden. The bush he’d landed in had probably saved his life, but he still had injuries, mainly scratches and bruises. 

Arthur didn’t know what he was going to do if anything happened to Merlin. He couldn’t imagine his life without Merlin. What if he never again saw him smile or heard his laugh? What if he never again argued with him about who should’ve gotten Star Baker? What if they never again had a pillow fight or made pancakes at midnight? He couldn’t bear it. 

There was still so much he wanted to do. He wanted to hold hands walking down the street. He wanted to kiss him. He wanted to hold on and never let go. He wanted him. 

_Fucking hell, I love him._

He stumbled into Merlin’s hospital room where he was sitting up and watching 8 Out of Ten Cats Does Countdown. Arthur squeezed him into a tight hug immediately, then pulled away so he could get a good look at him. His face looked terrible: he had a deep bruise above his eyebrow and long scratches covered most of his face. 

“I’m so glad you’re okay. I was so worried,” Arthur said as he tried to blink back tears. He did not want to ugly cry in front of Merlin. He was not the crying type. He was a Pendragon.

“Didn’t know you cared,” Merlin said without a trace of emotion. 

Arthur pulled back, shocked. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Merlin let out a frustrated sigh as he clutched the blanket covering his legs. “Nothing.”

“No, tell me. I want to know. Please.”

Merlin was quiet for a moment and Arthur tried to wait patiently for him to speak. “You and I...we’re friends. Nothing more. I thought you were interested. We had a lunch that I thought was a date and what I thought were dates after. But you’ve never even hugged me or held my hand or kissed me. Then you called us best mates and I realized that I made a mistake. I thought you wanted more and I got it wrong yet again.”

 _Fuck,_ Arthur thought. “That’s why you stopped coming over and started seeing Gareth?”

“Yeah.” Merlin looked away. “I wanted more, but it was obvious you didn’t.”

“I told you I was bad at relationships. I’ve only had one relationship.”

Merlin turned back to look at him, looking confused. “You mentioned Sophia AND Owain.” He put an emphasis on the “and.”

Arthur rubbed the back of his neck. “I… exaggerated.”

“What do you mean?”

“I dated Sophia for three months until she dumped me because I wouldn’t sleep with her. Owain was… a colossal fuck-up. We were best mates. I loved him, but he wanted something that I couldn’t give him so we never even got started.”

Merlin blinked at him. “What exactly are you saying?”

Arthur squeezed his hands together, trying to ground himself. He might as well tell Merlin the truth. It looked like this friendship was at an end anyway. At least Arthur could feel less like a jerk if was honest with Merlin. “I’m a biromantic asexual.”

Merlin sucked in a breath, then started laughing so hard his entire body was shaking. 

Arthur’s brows knitted together. This was not the reaction he had expected. He expected anger, rejection, sadness, or confusion. “What’s so funny?” he asked, his temper rising. Was Merlin mocking him?

“I’m demisexual.”

“Oh. _OH.”_ Then Arthur started laughing too. He took Merlin’s hand and squeezed it. He felt a warmth swell in his chest: Merlin was ace too. “I can’t promise you more than kisses or hours long cuddle sessions, but I can promise that I want you in my life as my partner.”

“You mean it?”

In answer, Arthur kissed him.

Kissing Merlin was different from the other kisses he’d had before. There was little heat, but it was perfect. There was no end goal, it was just nice.

Later that evening Hunith arrived from Ealdor and Arthur couldn’t keep the grin off his face when Merlin introduced him as his boyfriend. 

* * *

Arthur confessed everything to Gwen and Lance almost a week later. He talked about being bullied and being called a freak in school, he told them about how broken he’d felt growing up, he told them the truth about Sophia and Owain, and finally the truth about his relationship with Merlin. They’d had no idea it wasn’t a “real” relationship (Gwen had apologized later for implying it wasn’t real, bumbling through her explanation that there are all sorts of types of relationships).

“I fully support you, Arthur, but are you sure?” Lance had asked when Arthur was finally done speaking. 

"Have you ever looked at a tree and thought, Oooooh, that looks scrummy?"

Lance made a face. “No. Of course not.” Then realization dawned. “Ohhhhh. People are like trees to you.”

“Yeah. So even though I’ve never tasted a tree, I know I wouldn’t enjoy it.”

“Do you think it could change?” Gwen asked. “I’m only asking because of Merlin and knowing he’s demisexual. He explained it to me,” she added hastily, not wanting to seem like a jerk. 

“I won’t say it’s impossible. Merlin has been every shade of ace under the sun according to him. But for me at this moment, this is who I am.” For the first time in his life, there was something like pride in his voice.

Gwen and Lance both put their hands on top of Arthur’s. “We’ll support you no matter what. We just really want you to be happy.”

Arthur went over to Merlin’s flat immediately after. 

“How’d it go?”

Arthur picked Merlin up, twirled him around, and kissed him. He was still getting used to the idea that he had found someone he could kiss and who wouldn’t expect anything else after. 

Merlin laughed and kissed him back. “That good, huh?”

“Yeah.” Arthur was grinning. “I know you said there was no rush to tell anybody and that we could go on like we have been with no one the wiser, but I’m really glad I said something. I had to know if I could rely on these people or not. I don’t have many people in my life: my family is small and my other friends let me down.”

Merlin nodded. “Do you think they understood?”

Arthur took a swig of the beer Merlin offered him. “Not really. I’m never going to understand how they can look at someone and immediately want to shag. I compared being ace to finding trees scrummy.”

Merlin raised an eyebrow at him. “You’re daft.” 

“I asked Lance if he’d ever looked at a tree and thought, That looks tasty. He gave me a weird look.”

“I’m giving you a weird look right now.”

Arthur swatted him with a pillow. “They’ll never fully understand and I’ll never fully understand them, but that doesn’t mean that we won’t be like family. They did ask questions, some of them a little insensitive, but they apologized after seeing my reaction. I know they didn’t mean to be rude.”

It was nice that they were trying to understand. Arthur had been worried they tell him he should get checked out by a doctor or just dismiss his sexuality outright.

“I mentioned your sexuality to Gwen and she said she’d forgotten you were ace.”

“The ace invisibility is real.” Merlin frowned.

“She also mentioned some of your past exploits… one time she came over to yours and you were on the couch with a bloke…”

Merlin groaned. “Can’t trust anyone! I told her to forget that,” he said, shaking his head. He didn’t seem too upset though.

Arthur was squirming in his seat. He wanted to ask Merlin some sensitive questions, but wasn’t sure how to proceed.

“Does that bother you?” Merlin asked.

“What?”

“That I’ve had sex.”

Arthur swallowed and took a long sip of his beer. “I…I worry you’ll leave me for someone else who can give you...more.”

“Arthur, I need you to understand that I won’t leave you because you don’t have sexual feelings for me. I am not someone who craves sex. Sex is just one of many forms of intimacy. I didn’t feel anything for that bloke on the couch, I just wanted him to like me so I did what I did.”

Arthur’s brow furrowed. He understood a little better now about other forms of intimacy: Merlin had called spooning and cooking together intimacy. Having deep conversations late into the night about their hopes and dreams had also been called intimacy. But Arthur had never considered those things truly as intimacy. For most of his life, he’d understood intimacy to mean sex.

“It’s complicated and difficult to describe. Sexuality is complicated. There are the normies who see someone they fancy and immediately want to shag. Example, Gwaine and 75% of the people he meets.” Merlin laughed. “Then there are people like me. I’ve never seen someone aesthetically pleasing and thought, I want to sleep with them. Most of my sexual encounters have been one sided. They were sexually attracted to me and I liked them. I didn’t mind making them happy, it’s hard to get blokes to call you back if you don’t put out on the first date. We live in a hookup culture and I liked feeling normal. I liked talking to my friends about… that stuff. I could relate to their jokes. Then there are people like you who crave intimacy, but nothing sexual. And there are others who don’t want any sort of romance at all.”

“What about Edwin?”

“Edwin was the first bloke who waited for me. He was the first guy who wasn’t looking for a hookup, but for something long term. I liked him a lot and I fell in love. With that relationship I developed sexual feelings. The key component for me was that I was with a person I cared about. In all honesty, being with Edwin became exhausting. He wanted sex all the time. I prefer the way our relationship is now to that.”

Arthur was silent for a few beats. It was reassuring to know that Merlin hadn’t been entirely happy in his relationship with Edwin and it made him happy to hear how much Merlin appreciated their relationship. “Are you going to develop sexual feelings for me?” It was Arthur’s second biggest worry. He wondered how he would react to that and was afraid he might react badly. Would he be uncomfortable or disgusted by it? Would Merlin want or expect Arthur to touch him and help him take care of it?

“I might, but I promise I’ll never pressure you to do anything you don’t want to do.” Merlin took his hand and squeezed it. 

“What if I do develop those feelings? Then what do I become?”

“You’ll always be you, Arthur. Sexuality is fluid. I used to identify as ace with no interest in relationships whatsoever. Then I was a romantic ace. Then I met Edwin and now I identify as demi. Anything is possible. It won’t change how I feel about you.”

Arthur kissed him again. He was so happy to have someone like Merlin in his life.

* * *

A few weeks later, they were watching a movie. Arthur had his head in Merlin’s lap and was staring up at him. Merlin could sense eyes on him and he looked down.

“You’re missing the best part!”

“No, I’m not, cause you’re the best part.” Arthur pulled Merlin’s hand to his chest.

Merlin rolled his eyes, but he was smiling.

Arthur sat up and kissed him.

“What’s that for?”

Arthur shrugged. “Because I can.” He kissed him again, this time with more heat. Lately he had been thinking about snogging. It’d gotten brought up during one of the pub nights and Arthur had thought about what it would be like. Thus far their kisses had been quite chaste.

When they finally broke apart Merlin said, “You know for someone with next to zero experience kissing, you’re pretty good at this.”

Arthur looked down at Merlin’s slightly tented up pajama bottoms. “I can tell.” He didn’t feel horrified to discover Merlin’s reaction to their snog session. With anyone else, Arthur would have probably bolted for the door, but he felt oddly pleased by the knowledge that Merlin was enjoying Arthur's kisses. Maybe because he didn't feel any pressure. Being with Merlin made him feel safe in a way he had never felt with anyone else before.

He kissed him some more, this time trailing a hand up Merlin’s shirt and making him shiver. He loved touching Merlin. He loved feeling his skin against his. Sometimes they spooned shirtless and for Arthur it was the highest form of intimacy they had experienced. Thus far, they hadn’t spent an entire night together since that first drunken night. They always went back to their own flat. Arthur was planning to ask Merlin to stay the night in his bed. He’d been thinking about how much he wanted to wake up with his arms wrapped around Merlin.

Merlin pulled away. “You know we don’t need to do anything, right? You know I’m not going to run out on you because we don’t have sex. I can handle things on my own.”

“I know. But you said there were lots of ways to be intimate. Care to share more details on that?” Arthur waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Merlin laughed. 

“I… I like touching you,” Arthur said seriously. “Is that weird?”

“No. It’s just a form of intimacy. It releases endorphins.” 

“It makes me happy that I can do this with someone and there’s no expectations.”

“Hmmm,” Merlin said against Arthur’s lips as he kissed him.

“You’re beautiful.”

Merlin smirked. “You’re pretty aesthetically pleasing yourself.”

“You’re--” Arthur looked like he was struggling to find the words. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted.”

“That’s a lot of pressure!” Merlin said, laughing and turning slightly pink.

“I’m serious. I didn’t think I could have this. I didn’t think anyone would want me… the way I am.” Arthur’s eyes shone with unshed tears. 

Merlin blinked rapidly. “Maybe this is too soon... but I love you, Arthur.”

Arthur’s eyes widened, then he practically pulled him into his lap for a deeper kiss. “I love you too,” he said, smiling against Merlin’s lips.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> (Please note that this story is complete even though there's a question mark after the 3. Idk why. I tried to fix it, but it didn't work).


End file.
